My ex wanted to take me to the cleaners. Matt Ingham saved me a fortune and got me divorced! ” -Martin F.
Thanks to Bulldog I have full custody of both of my children.” – Jenny C.
Bulldog threatened to throw my ex in jail for not paying child support. He also suspended my ex’s visitation rights until he got his act together as a father. Thank you Bulldog for making the father of my children be responsible. ” -Krystal M.
Matt Ingham is the Divorce Lawyer Tulsa knows and trusts. He has represented over 300 clients in Family Court which includes cases involving children, child support, protective orders, and guardianships. When you need to hire a lawyer who will provide you with serious, aggressive representation, hire a lawyer who you have confidence in, contact Bulldog Divorce today.
When you contact Bulldog Divorce, be prepared to briefly answer a few simple questions that will help determine the best course of action to take on your case. Keep in mind when you are explaining your answers, any communication that occurs between you and the lawyer will be kept confidential and will be used by the staff members at Bulldog Divorce to build your case.
Bulldog Divorce (918) 591-2566
How To Get Started Today.
Divorce is an ugly word. If you are like most people, when you were young you never imagined that someday YOU would be going through a divorce. Fast forward to the present time however, and here you are, reading a website about nothing but ‘divorce’.
If you are like most soon-to-be divorcees, then you and your ex have been married and have lived together under the same roof for quite some time. At some point in time, probably during the early stages of the marriage, you and your soon-to-be ex were starry eyed lovers who enjoyed a lot ‘happiness’ together. Unfortunately, over the course of time, something went awry and now you all are ready, after several unsuccessful attempts to ‘work on the marriage’, to let go and move forward with the divorce process.
If this scenario accurately describes you, or even if it barely describes you, then congratulations, you are finally ready to let go and move forward with the divorce process. The good news for you, is that you are not alone: In 2011 there were more than 3400 divorces filed in Tulsa County District Court. In 2012 there were more than 3500 divorces filed in Tulsa County District Court.
With sooo many divorces being filed, you can be assured there are plenty of informational websites and informational pamphlets available for you to use in order to educate yourself about the process.
As you read through our website, keep in mind that none of the information shared on this website is or is intended to be legal advice. We strongly recommend that you do not take action in your divorce case based solely on the information that you read on this website. Again, to paraphrase, none of the information conveyed on this website is intended to be acted upon as if it is legal advice.
Step One: Making The Hard Decision.
The worst part about divorce is the uncertainty. There is a A LOT of uncertainty surrounding divorce and this is especially true during the final months of the marriage when things are beginning to unravel.
The good news for you is that you are not the first person to ever have to experience the craziness of the uncertainty caused by divorce. Countless adults have survived the experience well before you did and so statistically speaking, you can be very confident that you too will pull through the process just fine.
In this section, we are going to discuss ‘making the hard decision’. We recommend that you read this subsection carefully and if you would like, take some notes so that you can review them later during the divorce process to refresh your memory.
The hardest part about ‘making the hard decision’ is letting go. If you are like most, then you have invested a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into this marriage and you had to see all of that effort go to waste. On the flip side, we recommend that you consider the following: the current level of your happiness? the current level of your soon-to-be-ex’s happiness? and if there are children involved, the current level of your children’s happiness?
Point being, is that life is short and because life is sooo short, you ought not waste it being locked into a relationship where you and your soon-to-be-ex are miserable to together. Point being, ‘make the hard decision’, let go and move forward.
Step Two: Moving Forward With Divorce.
Once you have made the hard decision, then it is time for you to turn your attention toward moving forward with the process. When you think about moving forward, doing so is probably more than a little intimidating. If this is true of you, then there is no need for despair because the intimidation is a natural part of the process. The largest part of the intimidation is the unknowing.
During this stage in the process there is a extremely high amount of uncertainty to try to overcome and if you are like most soon-to-be divorcees you are thinking to yourself ‘I just want this to be over with so that I can get on with my life’. Regardless of whether you or someone who you love has ever been through the divorce experience before, regardless of whether you or someone who you love has never been through the divorce experience before, the good news for you is that you have come across this sub-article.
Below in this sub-article we have included a list of four questions for you to ask yourself about moving forward. Keep in mind though that before you read through the list and ask yourself the following questions, we are assuming of course that you have already ‘made the hard decision’ and am ready to for this step in the process.
Question Number One: Where am I going to live? On of the hardest parts about the moving forward phase is having to make the adjustment from living in a married home where there are two incomes to living in one single home where there is only your income. Our hope is that you are able to make the adjustment financially and we are confident that you will be able to find affordable, sufficient living arrangements sometime in the near future.
Question Number Two: How am I going to pay my bills? Again, just like we explained above, the hardest part is making the adjustment from having two incomes to now just having one. Before you move forward, make sure to give serious thought about your personal finances in order to ensure that your personal finances will be sufficient from month to month in order to pay your bills.
Questions Number Three: How am I going to have transportation? Believe it or not, this is a very serious concern for a lot of soon-to-be-divorcees because so many couples, when they are married, narrow their transportation down so that the couple only owns one vehicle. If this is true of your situation, then we strongly recommend that you give some serious thought about the issue of transportation.
Question Number Four: What about the children? The worst casualty in divorce is of course the children. Often time the children are too young and too innocent to be able to fully grasp why their mommy and daddy cannot just ‘get along’. If this is true of your situation and you and your soon-to-be-ex have children together, then we strongly urge you to consider the ‘best interests’ of the children when planning your next move with regard to moving forward with the divorce process.
Step Three: If Children Are Involved, Learn Your Rights.
In Tulsa County, when there are children involved, you and your spouse will be required to meet certain requirements before you wlll be allowed to finalize the divorce. Below is a list of some of those requirements:
Requirement #1 – The Parenting Plan Conference is a class that you and your spouse will both have to complete. Basically, the way it works is this – when you or your spouse file the divorce, you will need to sign up for the the conference. At the conference, all of the moms and dads who have filed for divorce or paternity will appear in one big court room in front of the judge. The judge willl then explain to the moms and dads the importance of maintaning good communication between them throughout the divorce process for the sake of the children.
Requirement #2 – Helping Children Cope With Divorce. Helping Children Cope is a Saturday morning class that last approximately 4 hours. The jist of the class is that it teaches moms and dads how to help their children cope with the rigors of the divorce process. The class costs approximately $50.00 to enroll. You can enroll by either calling Family & Children Services or by logging onto their website.
Step Four: Choose The ‘Grounds For Divorce’.
In the Oklahoma court system there are 12 grounds for divorce. The most popular of the 12 grounds is of course, ‘incompatibility’. When you file for a divorce based on the grounds of ‘incompatibility’, you are basically communicating to the public that the grounds for divorce are irrelevant and that you and your spouse just want the marriage to be over with.
In addition to ‘incompatibility’, there are a handful of other popular grounds for divorce. One of those more popular grounds for divorce is ‘adultery’. Whenever you file for a divorce based on the grounds of ‘adultery’, you are doing so because you want to prove a point which means that you are wanting to communicate to the public that your ex is a lying, cheating, no good person. However, it should be noted, that in the Oklahoma court system, the grounds for divorce have become largely irrelevant. The judge will not consider evidence about who cheated on who. In other words, filing for divorce based on the grounds of ‘adultery’, although it might cause you to feel vindicated, it will not gain you a strategic advantage in the court room.
The other grounds for divorce are as follows: habitual drunkenness, gross neglect of duty, imprisonment for a felony, institutionalization for insanity for five years, extreme cruelty, abandonment, impotency, wife pregnant by another man at the time of marriage, fraudulent contracts, and divorce in another state without personal jurisdiction over one spouse.
Step Five: Hire The Right Lawyer.
“Never, ever, ever skimp on hiring a lawyer.” This is our advice and this is the advice that ought to be followed by every single person who is a soon-to-be-divorcee who is going to have to make the decision to either hire a lawyer, or risk representing themselves in the court room.
With regard to hiring the right lawyer, keep in mind that licensed lawyers are everywhere. In Tulsa County alone there are over 3,000 lawyers who practice in a wide array of legal fields from probate law, to energy law, to worker’s compensation law, to family law.
When it is time for you to hire a lawyer because you want to move forward with the divorce process, we encourage to meet with two – three different lawyers in order to make sure that you make the right decision and hire the right one for you.
One of the points that we ought to make is that hiring the ‘right lawyer’ does not necessarily mean that you have to hire the meanest, most aggressive, or most expensive lawyer in town. In fact, we encourage you to consider hiring a lawyer who’s services are mid-range in price and whose reputation is that they get the job done right!
Remember, what is most important is not that you spend ‘tens of thousands of dollars’ or that you ‘stuck it to your ex’, what is most important is that your divorce case is given the attention to details that it requires in order to ensure that your case is resolved favorably for you and for your children.
Lastly, keep in mind that no two lawyers are exactly a like. In each legal community (including Tulsa County) there are ‘high end’ lawyers, there are ‘mid range’ lawyers, and there are ‘buttom feeders’. Make sure that you stir clear of the lawyers who fall into that last category.
For more information about Bulldog Divorce, you can take a look at our ‘About Us’ page by clicking on Tulsa Divorce Lawyer.
Information courtesy of Matthew W. Ingham